As the bus left Eskisehir, Turkey, I felt my heart wrench a little. It felt like leaving home or leaving camp or leaving a bunch of people you really love.

It wasn’t a new feeling. I get it almost every country we leave, but this time, somehow, it felt a little more like homesickness instead of heartsickness.

In Turkey, we spent time in four different places total, but Eskisehir was the place we spent the majority of our time. It was the place our leadership had prayed into and felt that we should go. It was chosen for us.

A university town, Eskisehir means “Old City.” It’s a beautiful city in Turkey that feels a lot like home. There are hundreds of coffee shops, college students walk around in crop tops, and a lot of people speak English. It was actually a little bit of a culture shock to us having come from Istanbul with frequent calls to prayer, loads of head coverings and almost everyone claiming Islam.

Immediately, we knew it would be different.

Right off the bat, I was blessed with a relationship that would last the whole time we stayed in the city. Organized by God, no doubt, Mary Grace and I ran into a couple in Instanbul from Eskisehir and they ended up being our main contacts and friends in the city. Medical students, restaurant enthusiasts and dreamers for travel, we had a lot in common.

We would spend over 50 hours with them over the 3 weeks we were there. They became friends who ended up feeling like family.

Then there was the family at the bakery who welcomed us by bringing us every dessert they offered, inviting extended family to come meet us and offering us free ice cream for the rest of our visit.

There were the coffee shop girls we met that we would visit frequently and chat with.

There was the little woman in the bazaar that I only met once but that gave me a bracelet I don’t take off.

There was the man we met on the steps when we got locked out of our airbnb who was convinced we were aliens.

There was the boy who worked in our airbnb that we would later invite to a party.

There was the sweet woman from the burger shop who let me into her heart as she told me the story of a recent heartbreak.

And there were about 10 more.

Every person we met would ask “What in the world are you doing here for three weeks.” We would smile. We knew this wasn’t a tourist location and we never met another American while there. It wasn’t a place Americans visit. And then we got to share that God sent us and the conversations flowed from there.

Eskisehir was about going slow, building relationships and loving. Just loving.

And it was the first time I felt like I could begin to understand how a long term missionary feels. The day to day, slow build. The outpouring of your heart with sometimes little to show for it. The trust. The slow burn. The leaving it in the hands of Jesus and knowing some seeds will fall and I'll never see them sprout. 

I learned the beauty of patience, a dying of my need for efficiency, the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit saying “trust me,” and to get out of my head and realize that I can’t please everyone.

I learned to communicate when I’m suspicious that someone is angry with me. I learned that it’s ok to ask for what I need. I learned to give hard feedback to those I love. I learned to trust God with how they feel about that feedback.

I’m typically a machine gun. I want to walk around these cities and serve up the Gospel to everyone I see. I want to give them the antidote. And actually, I’m not saying that isn’t a good tactic.

But. 

This time the Holy Spirit was speaking something different to me. It made me a little uncomfy. I had to come to grips with that voice that said “You’re lazy” and recognize that it was never about me anyway. Sometimes that two hours in a coffee shop having a conversation is exactly where you need to be.

Sometimes it’s about going slow, building trust, loving and on top of all that, enjoying the ride and trusting the Lord at every turn.

We learned that almost every college student we met had no ties with Islam. They were just like us, youth, obsessed with Instagram, dreamers, searching and open to love and truth.

What beautiful ground to plant in. The Lord set it all up just for us.