I am sitting down to write this two days after leaving training camp, an 11 day camp out at World Race Headquarters in Gainesville, GA. The purpose was to mentally, physically, and spiritually prep us for our 11 month journey around the world to celebrate and advance the kingdom of God. I met my squad, was placed on my first team and ingested roughly 40 hours of content and information. I worshipped with hands up and head up, cried almost daily and delightfully studied the personalities of my squad mates. I took bucket showers, ate crickets, slept in the rain and cold, and didn’t put on a stitch of makeup.
I allowed the Lord to operate slowly, patiently and somehow all at once on wounds I had stuffed way down and I watched as the Lord stripped my people and myself of our paper thin facades and carefully sewed a string in and through our hearts.
In perfect timing, as the strength of our squad had heightened, we were faced with an opportunity to come together in prayer unexpectedly and the beauty of the kingdom came down that night. I saw prayer warriors and eloquence. I saw heart knowledge of the word and worship. I saw confidence and care. I saw strength and surety. I saw children of God. I saw an army for the Kingdom. And I think we could all sense the clang of the armor as we fought for what is already ours in Jesus’ name.
Training camp was a big Whoa and a little yikes and an event bigger LET’S GO!
But before all that…..
I arrived at training camp with curled hair and a rain jacket thin wall built up ready to meet my squad and frankly ready for an evaluation of Adventures and Missions completely. As is my Achilles heel, I was prepared to protect my heart and probably my reputation should this all be a bit of a mistake on my part. HA.
Was this organization what I thought it was? Would I be met with spiritual maturity or adventure minded I don’t knows? Would they like me? Would I be too old to relate to my squad? What in the world would we be doing for 11 days straight? Would things get kooky? Would things get spooky? Was I about to quite literally level up in my Christianity?
Oh Father, you are too good and I know you flashed a knowing smile as you watched me bounce all these thoughts through my head, an unfair and unnecessary torture, when you were just trying to gift me something precious.
My first memory of meeting a squad mate was a jazzed up little jitter bug electric with energy and a smile that lit up her whole face. Big curls, flowered shirt, and a bobbing up and down as if to emulate a nodding yes. Before I even knew who she was and why she was attached to me, her little body radiated a buzz resulting from the strength of the hug she gave me for a whole 5 seconds. A sweet gal I would later name Little Bird, gave me wide eyes and a literary foreshadowing for what relationships would look like with my squad and my team.
After that it was tent set up and 24 hugs and “Hi I’m Lindseys.” It was a quick dinner and then an explosive worship session and an introduction to Adventure’s staff that would challenge us all on why we were sitting in our seats and our readiness for the task at hand.
As I lay shivering in my sleeping bag on night one, I would journal the following thoughts:
– “This is definitely not a soft adventure trip”
– “Who am I again?”
– “How will I capture this for people back home?”
– “I wonder who I’ll end up making strong connections with?”
– “Leadership isn’t weird charismatic, just biblical! Thank God”
The next 10 days included so much. So much more than you have time to read on this blog right now and so much more than I can explain but I’ll take a shot at it and I’ll welcome every question and every hug and every heart cry of celebration that my tribe back home has.
One thing I learned from God directly and also at training camp was that this blog would be more than just an online journal. It would be a tool to tell, a telescope into the heart of what God’s work looks like around the world, a window into the Kingdom, a small crack into His character and an exploration of my own personal story and how my Father in heaven rescued me from the depths of my confusion and sin and set me in higher places for higher purposes.
So I’ll take you through a fast forwarded VHS tape of this week. Hold on to your butts.
It was: defining missions – accepting a divine interruption in my life – praying for Heaven to come down – learning how to own my race – being reminded of God’s love for me and practicing acting from that – prophecy for others and accepting prophecy from others – team leaders that inspire – reconciliation – visions from heaven – a short stint of insecurity and comparison – learning to trust – scraping the layers of shame off of my sisters –questioning multi-generational revival – reduction of defense and inclusion of feedback – falling in love with people with each new conversation – death of anxiety – generational chains of religion broken – a hunger for the word – a let go of pride – a big gulp after reviewing the numbers of unreached people groups – a review of the culture in the 10/40 window and how to communicate with them – having to share – impatience – how to listen to the Holy Spirit – conviction – reality check on how hard this is going to be – reality check on how uncomfortable this is going to be – floods of living water – introduction to my team (3 guys! Who knew!) – hands up in every worship session – encouragement from Karen about being 30 – love for my Dad – Healing – appreciating the gift of intuition that God gives women – acceleration – spiritual warfare – eating with my hands – washing feet- Momma bear feels – death of judgment – 4 hour prayer night and a Jericho walk with 2 warriors – Struggle with unbelief – storytelling – the study of forgiveness – Lion – flour in my hair – competition – winning – baptism – FREEDOM!
I felt like I was living someone else’s life last week. A strange feeling. And then I realized that I am. This is the life I would have missed and the version of my identity I would have missed had I not made it to the edge of myself and cried out to my creator for more. This is me, the real me, and the will of God being manifested before my eyes.
If the goal of training camp was to teach us that we have everything we need in Jesus and in our inclusion in the Kingdom of God and that all we need to do is trust and obey, then you can place a giant check mark next to my name with a note that says, “She’s ready.”
Lindsey, Eeeeeeeeehhhhh!!!!!! I am so happy and I know thou shalt not covet but I’m not gonna lie but I’m covering (just a little)?? I’ll repent in prayer tonight! Mostly I am SO excited that you are going! Watch out 10/40 God is sending a warrior princess who is going to kick Satan’s butt and save souls! As Diane would say, ” I hate that slimy little sucker! He barks really loud!” Yep, wish we could all wake up and realize he’s already defeated and take the power God’s given us and reach the ends of the earth so Jesus can come back and take us HOME! You are advancing the kingdom and I’m going to help share your story with all my girlfriends here at the house of restoration because they are rising like phoenixes right now! Couldn’t be more proud of all of my sisters high and low! You go girl! I love you and so happy you did not fall for the hook of corporate America. I realize you’re busy but I am still your sister. Call me sometime! ??
Words can not even express what I am feeling right now. Your words are touching the very depths of my heart. God is so faithful and you are a beautiful example of his faithfulness. You have quite a transformation story and I do believe God has and will continue to use your story. I love how God has called you and you are listening!!! The hardest part of following Christ is true obedience, giving every part of our life to him, you truly have been this example for all of us. I am so excited to hear about the journey God is taking you on and how he will use each of you to further his kingdom. Please know you gave prayer warriors here that will be praying for you each step of the way!!! Love you so much and love how God has literally changed your life forever.
Lindsey, so proud of you and thank you for sharing your journey. Your faith is inspiring and I pray for this journey. You ar truly an inspiration in sharing your love for Jesus Christ. I look forward to reading your blog during these 11 months. Love you!
Wow. Superb blog. Great detail. I really loved reading this!!!
“This is the life I would have missed and the version of my identity I would have missed had I not made it to the edge of myself and cried out to my creator for more.”
Right on!! Cant wait to journey with you!!!
My baby sister, your words, your emotion, your heart leave me wide-eyed and breathless with tears about to spill onto my keyboard at work. I know I keep saying it over and over again, but the change in you….the complete 180….the new creation you have become!! Jesus, our redeemer, lifted you out of the pit and set you on a path for His glory. I am overwhelmed by you, by God and by His grace and mercy poured out on your life. I’m grateful for your writing talent from God that allows us to be drawn into the journey with you! My heart is so full right now…just bursting with gratitude for a God who loves us while we are still sinners and uses our sinful past for His good purposes. Silly me for thinking I would need to provide you with much encouragement as you go on this World Race. The Holy Spirit is with you and allowing you to overflow with encouragement for me instead!!
Congratulations Sweet Girl!!! I’m so very happy for you and I celebrate your break-throughs with you!! You’ve got Jesus, and He’s got this!!! May this be a journey of a lifetime and may God use you in a mighty way!! Go get’em Warrior Princess!
What an inspiration you are Lindsey! Thanks for sharing your heart in such a beautiful and encouraging way, I look forward to hearing more about the journey Jesus has you on.
Dear Linsey. I have had you on my mind lately. Enjoyed reading your blog. Gives us a little ensign into your journey. You are very brave this will definitely be a challenge of faith. God will walk with you all the way you will learn the strength of god’s power. Look forward to following your blog. Take care our prayers will be with you. Love Aunt Pat.
Lindsey: I could respond that I am overwhelmed, but the truth is that I would have expected as much, in that I have watched you all these years and have witnessed the ever growing and changing woman that you have become. Please know that my heart is bursting with laughter be and gratitude for God’s works. You have embraced your faith fully and continue daily to keep it blooming . I have heard that the Lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed, he does! However,
Your life is mystery. You were born to be a woman who wants to change the world, and God has furnished me with the love and faith to believe that many souls are going to grow in God’s service due to your influence. Keep shining, my precious child!
With my love and God’s grace,
Mom
Lindsey, I read your blog with tears and have read the comments, too, with which I wholeheartedly agree. I remember when your mother told me she was pregnant. She had on a white Christmas sweater outfit and was radiant. And you have always seemed to me, a radiant child. But now, all grown up and truly serving the Lord in ways that the vast majority of us can not imagine. Crickets? lol It’s too trite to say I am proud of you, but I am proud that I know you and I know you are going to bless many lives on this journey. Baring your soul is difficult, but you have already done that. I will be praying for you and looking forward to more of your updates. May God bless you richly, sweet Lindsey!
The picture in my mind as I read your fantastic blog is of Laughing Jesus. Head back, huge smile, laughter. Sheer joy at watching His daughter, the apple of His eye, put your hand in His and embrace this leg of the journey. So proud of you for saying YES to Him and opening your heart.
Just Joy! Just the beauty of watching Christ in you! HIM in you!! The reflection of His beauty, power, truth and grace being lived out, for His Glory, in you!
I love you, my sister, and my heart is bursting with delight in all Christ is doing/will do through your obedient faith. Praying for you as you keep your hand held tightly in His all the way as He opens vistas of His own heart and purposes to you day by day. AAAAH!! So blessed by the divine portrait He is painting all over your life!
Many thoughts & prayers for you Lindsay.
Lindsey, you are incredible. I had all the feels reading this, I’m so encouraged by you and your life and I cannot wait to see what God is able to do through you this next year as you pursue him and continue to break chains. I’m so thankful for you! There’s so much beauty in your story, in the brokenness and in the healing he is glorified by your continued faithfulness.
All the love!
Thank you so much for your kind words Delores! It means a lot to me that you want to follow along on this journey. I hope that these stories are a blessing to you!
Nora! My gal!
Thank you for the encouraging feedback! It is truly a delight to me to hear that!
Right on is right! VERY pumped to journey with you as well. I’m ready for more deep convos!
I LOVE YOU! You are my great encourager and lover of my soul, always have been.
God is great and big and wide and yes! I feel that 180 in my ole bones! I’m thankful and overwhelmed by it as well!
I still want and need your encouragement though the Holy Spirit is providing SO WELL. Knowing you are following along and praying lifts my spirt so much.
I love you! Thank you for always keeping me near in your prayers and not giving up on me all those years. This is the time you prayed you would see! Here we are! Living in it! Praise God!
Thank You Cindy! I so love reading these encouraging words from you!
I pray God uses me too! And that word, Warrior – it has been spoken over me so many times in the last two months. Thank you for encouraging me with it again!
Hey Jess!
Thanks for your encouraging words! I’m so excited you and Zach are joining me on this journey! Love you guys!
Thanks Aunt Pat! My courage is in the Lord! All things are possible when his spirit is present. I can’t wait to see miracles and witness God’s power as he shows off how much he loves his people all over the world.
Thank you for your prayers!
Wow Mom! Thank you for these encouraging and heartfelt words. I love you!
Aw Sally! You sweetie! Thank you for this sweet memory and for your encouragement. Thank you for believing in me and for believing in the Lord! Thank you for your support and most of all for your prayers!
Thank you for your encouragement, Lisa! You’ve been so good to help me along the way as I prepare for this. I am blessed by you in so many ways, my friend.
Barbie! My ever present encourager and prayer warrior! I love you so much!
Love you Aunt Marlene!
I love you! If I could pack you in my suitcase, I totally would! I am so pumped that I have three sisters that love the Lord and that have taught me so much about the kingdom of God. It was the sweetest time with you last night. Thank you for sharing my story and thank you for your commitment to God in your own home! You inspire me.
no YOU! Shea, i’ve known you for like 3 weeks and already I feel like you are a sister. I have loved getting to know your heart and I’m excited to keep knowing it and learning more about you. I hope God puts us on the same team at some point!
Thank you for your encouragement. Can’t wait to squeeze you in January.
Mama! I love you! You are so quick to encourage and support me in all ways. I love that.
I am so grateful that God has done what he has done to me and now I’m excited to see what he wants to do through me!
Life is so much more abundant in knowing him. Thank you for always being my cheer leader in the faith!