I am sitting down to write this two days after leaving training camp, an 11 day camp out at World Race Headquarters in Gainesville, GA. The purpose was to mentally, physically, and spiritually prep us for our 11 month journey around the world to celebrate and advance the kingdom of God. I met my squad, was placed on my first team and ingested roughly 40 hours of content and information. I worshipped with hands up and head up, cried almost daily and delightfully studied the personalities of my squad mates.  I took bucket showers, ate crickets, slept in the rain and cold, and didn’t put on a stitch of makeup.

I allowed the Lord to operate slowly, patiently and somehow all at once on wounds I had stuffed way down and I watched as the Lord stripped my people and myself of our paper thin facades and carefully sewed a string in and through our hearts. 

In perfect timing, as the strength of our squad had heightened, we were faced with an opportunity to come together in prayer unexpectedly and the beauty of the kingdom came down that night. I saw prayer warriors and eloquence. I saw heart knowledge of the word and worship. I saw confidence and care. I saw strength and surety. I saw children of God. I saw an army for the Kingdom. And I think we could all sense the clang of the armor as we fought for what is already ours in Jesus’ name. 

Training camp was a big Whoa and a little yikes and an event bigger LET’S GO! 

But before all that…..

I arrived at training camp with curled hair and a rain jacket thin wall built up ready to meet my squad and frankly ready for an evaluation of Adventures and Missions completely. As is my Achilles heel, I was prepared to protect my heart and probably my reputation should this all be a bit of a mistake on my part. HA. 

Was this organization what I thought it was? Would I be met with spiritual maturity or adventure minded I don’t knows? Would they like me? Would I be too old to relate to my squad? What in the world would we be doing for 11 days straight? Would things get kooky? Would things get spooky? Was I about to quite literally level up in my Christianity?

Oh Father, you are too good and I know you flashed a knowing smile as you watched me bounce all these thoughts through my head, an unfair and unnecessary torture, when you were just trying to gift me something precious.

My first memory of meeting a squad mate was a jazzed up little jitter bug electric with energy and a smile that lit up her whole face. Big curls, flowered shirt, and a bobbing up and down as if to emulate a nodding yes.  Before I even knew who she was and why she was attached to me, her little body radiated a buzz resulting from the strength of the hug she gave me for a whole 5 seconds. A sweet gal I would later name Little Bird, gave me wide eyes and a literary foreshadowing for what relationships would look like with my squad and my team. 

After that it was tent set up and 24 hugs and “Hi I’m Lindseys.” It was a quick dinner and then an explosive worship session and an introduction to Adventure’s staff that would challenge us all on why we were sitting in our seats and our readiness for the task at hand. 

As I lay shivering in my sleeping bag on night one, I would journal the following thoughts: 

-      “This is definitely not a soft adventure trip” 

-      “Who am I again?”

-      “How will I capture this for people back home?”

-      “I wonder who I’ll end up making strong connections with?”

-      “Leadership isn’t weird charismatic, just biblical! Thank God”

The next 10 days included so much. So much more than you have time to read on this blog right now and so much more than I can explain but I’ll take a shot at it and I’ll welcome every question and every hug and every heart cry of celebration that my tribe back home has. 

One thing I learned from God directly and also at training camp was that this blog would be more than just an online journal. It would be a tool to tell, a telescope into the heart of what God’s work looks like around the world, a window into the Kingdom, a small crack into His character and an exploration of my own personal story and how my Father in heaven rescued me from the depths of my confusion and sin and set me in higher places for higher purposes. 

So I’ll take you through a fast forwarded VHS tape of this week. Hold on to your butts. 

It was: defining missions – accepting a divine interruption in my life – praying for Heaven to come down – learning how to own my race – being reminded of God’s love for me and practicing acting from that – prophecy  for others and accepting prophecy from others – team leaders that inspire - reconciliation – visions from heaven – a short stint of insecurity and comparison – learning to trust – scraping the layers of shame off of my sisters –questioning multi-generational revival – reduction of defense and inclusion of feedback – falling in love with people with each new conversation - death of anxiety – generational chains of religion broken – a hunger for the word – a let go of pride – a big gulp after reviewing the numbers of unreached people groups – a review of the culture in the 10/40 window and how to communicate with them – having to share - impatience – how to listen to the Holy Spirit –  conviction – reality check on how hard this is going to be – reality check on how uncomfortable this is going to be – floods of living water – introduction to my team (3 guys! Who knew!)  - hands up in every worship session – encouragement from Karen about being 30 – love for my Dad – Healing – appreciating the gift of intuition that God gives women – acceleration – spiritual warfare – eating with my hands – washing feet- Momma bear feels – death of judgment – 4 hour prayer night and a Jericho walk with 2 warriors – Struggle with unbelief – storytelling – the study of forgiveness – Lion – flour in my hair – competition – winning – baptism – FREEDOM!

I felt like I was living someone else’s life last week. A strange feeling. And then I realized that I am. This is the life I would have missed and the version of my identity I would have missed had I not made it to the edge of myself and cried out to my creator for more. This is me, the real me, and the will of God being manifested before my eyes. 

If the goal of training camp was to teach us that we have everything we need in Jesus and in our inclusion in the Kingdom of God and that all we need to do is trust and obey, then you can place a giant check mark next to my name with a note that says, “She’s ready.”