Making Holi Holy

On a misty morning, clothed in a jacket for the first time in two months, our team looked out over the city of Agra, the Taj Mahal in the distance, and prayed and worshiped on the rooftop of our hostel. My prayer that morning was raw. The Lord was downloading a lot on my heart as we stared out over the city. He was giving me his heart for the people and when he does that, usually the tears come.

 

Our presence there felt foreign and new and out of place and I imagined that our words of worship were floating through the doors and windows of the surrounding buildings like a fragrance of praise. I believe that where our feet land, light spreads and where we worship, things change. The Lord has spoken this to me. I believe this with all my heart.

 

At training camp, knowing nothing about what we would be doing each place, we prayed and asked God to speak to us about each country. If we got a word for any of them, we wrote it up on the board. I got one word for one country. India – Purple.

 

“Purple? Random. Ok. Did I even hear that right?”

 

When we found out the dates for travel to India we knew that we would be here during an Indian holiday known as Holi. Holi (pronounced Holy, ironically) is an ancient festival that signifies the victory of good over evil, the coming of Spring, the blossoming of love and a day to forgive and forget. It’s known for the color that the locals smear on each other’s faces and throw at each other. It’s vibrant, wild, and an overall party.

 

Sounds great, right? What a photo op! What a fun way to celebrate our time in India!

 

But, we were warned heavily about Holi. Like most celebrations, things can go over the top. Specifically, there is a higher likelihood of sexual assault for women, drunkenness and overall debauchery. There is a drink called bhang, made from cannabis that intoxicates at new levels and a lot of people partake. Additionally, the festival has Hindu origin and was built on the idea that you burn off the evil spirits with a bonfire ritual and throw the color in celebration the next day, so the idea is that you go hard during Holi because your slate will be wiped clean afterwards. Couple that with the fact that women aren’t respected too well in India, and it sounds like a disaster for a light skinned woman who is already targeted for being “easy.”

 

So what does an independent, creative-minded millennial hungry for a good photo and frankly a fun party do in this setting?

 

I had my convictions.

 

Coming into India, I had decided that I wanted to observe it but I wasn’t sure I was supposed to participate. What does it look like to be set apart in this environment? I wanted to respect the culture and even enjoy it but I wanted to honor God above all those things. And it’s tough right? Even in American culture, you question, “Do I go to the party where my friends are getting wasted or do I stay home?” “Do I exist in spaces where I know sin is rampant, or do I avoid them?”

 

If Jesus is our model, we know that he existed in these spaces often and deliberately. And we are called to shine a light, not hide it – within reason, I know I know.

 

The fact is that all the possibilities were running through my mind so I knew I needed to give it to Jesus and let him decide.

 

On the same rooftop we had worshipped on earlier, our hostel threw a mini celebration, so we got to taste Holi without venturing out into the streets. We ate the traditional snacks, drank chai (instead of bhang), and danced with our hostel friends. They smeared the red and green all over our faces and we threw color. It was joyful, very PG, really fun and we had a few meaningful conversations.

 

We had our pictures, our Holi experience and our hearts were full but Holi was still happening outside of our hostel walls.

 

That night as we smelled the bonfires burning and heard the music outside our windows, my heart was stirring. As usual and often times uniquely within my team, I wanted to bust out into the streets and taste and see and experience – it all. I felt contained, kept. Trapped by the buddy system and the ever-present authority I have submitted to on this journey, I wasn’t able to go out to see the ritual that night. I was disappointed, but it could have been the Lord’s protection too.

 

The next morning as we woke up to worship and pray, I was expectant. There was a buzz in my stomach. I spent some time quietly on my own before joining the group and asked God to give me vision for whether or not I was supposed to leave the Hostel and get out in the Holi celebrations that were ramping up, expected to peak around 10 am. I knew what I WANTED to do but what did the Lord want me to do? It’s an all together different kind of submitting to authority – one that’s a little (but sometimes not a lot) easier for me to swallow.

 

He gave me vision of being out on the streets. I saw myself and two teammates, Jared and Brent. I was in between them, we were covered in color and we were interacting with locals. “Perfect, Lord! Of course! I’ll be safe with the guys and these two are my fiercest protectors anyway, my brothers!”

 

I was pumped. Let’s Go Lord! Put me in coach! I want to be a warrior for you in the middle of it all! I didn’t come here to sit on the sidelines!

 

I knew my assignment, but at this point I didn’t know what the rest of my team had decided and though I felt confident that someone would want to go, I wasn’t sure and if no one wanted to go, I would be unable to go because of the buddy system.

 

As we gathered that morning, our team lead asked each person how they were feeling about going.

 

Jared – “No”

Brent – “No”

 

“Ok so I guess I’m not seeing it right, Lord.”

 

Lindsey – “Hard Yes!!”

Alayna – “Probably Not, maybe.”

Andrea – “Hard No”

Zack – “No”

 

“Ok what is actually happening, Lord…..”

 

Brandon – “I might go if Lindsey really feels convicted to go”

Ari – “Undecided”

 

“I can’t believe this, Lord! Am I really going to be sitting 5 feet away from the action trapped in this hostel? I know it’s not a coincidence that you put us here during Holi. I know it’s not a coincidence that you prophesy warrior over me over and over again. I know you didn’t ask me to sit. I know you call me to go!”

 

“But I trust you, Lord. You know I do. I trust you even when there are things I want deeply. I know you know better. And if you call me to sit here all day and intercede for what’s going on out there. I will. I’ll do it.”

 

As I sat there, internal dialogue rampant, I literally felt tears welling up in anger. This felt unfair. It felt like a waste. It felt like I was being asked to sit down…. again. Humbled and angry at myself for feeling so much, I still held on to the vision God had given me earlier and landed on keeping the peace, falling under authority and bearing it, even if my fists were clenched all the while.

 

Just then Andrea said, “Let’s pray about this again, you guys. Let’s ask the Lord what he wants for us today.”

 

Ok – plot twist. We are giving this a second shot!

 

As I sat with God and asked him again what I should do, I saw myself in a hostel Holi party. I was wavering on how to act in the setting. I was in wondering over whether to dance or not. God was downloading the inner conflict of being set apart in the space and telling me it would be a struggle and I wouldn’t know what to do each time, but that he’d be there and he’d guide me.

 

“Lord, quit giving me this stuff if I’m not going to get to go out!”

 

As is usual, after we pray as a group, we go person to person and ask what God told them.

 

Brent – “I saw myself with Lindsey. I’m supposed to go.“

Alayna – “I’m supposed to stay and pray”

Andrea – “I’m supposed to stay”

Ari- “I think I’m supposed to go out later”

Brandon – “I’m good either way”

Jared – “I’m supposed to go out too”

Zack – “I’m supposed to stay”

Lindsey – “I’m supposed to go!”

 

I got to share with Brent and Jared the vision I had experienced earlier of being with them. We were all floored how the Lord turned them around.

 

Also, months ago, Brent had had a vision of dancing in the street with an Indian man – Jared had been reminded of this vision when he prayed.

 

At this point, I am praising the Lord with a new song. Look what he did! Why do I ever doubt how he speaks to me? He was taking me on a journey of trusting him. Of course. That’s what he does.

 

As our hostel guide led us out, he asked us to grab a bag of color. We would use this to smear on everyone’s faces on the street and throw it too. Inside my bag….purple.

 

I wouldn’t even remember the significance till later when I saw pictures of me smearing purple all over faces. The Lord had spoken this to me back in October at training camp!

 

Purple combines the calm stability of blue and the fierce energy of red. The color purple is often associated with royalty, nobility, power, wisdom, mystery, dignity, devotion, and peace. COME ON LORD! Couldn’t have picked a better color myself.

 

Like a blessing, a symbol of the royalty that the Kingdom demands in all settings, our God is ruthless in his pursuit to make good what the world has skewed. So even when Holi is meant to glorify a religion that doesn’t acknowledge Him, he sends his children out in the middle of it with purple stained hands and asks them to bless people in His name.

 

We left the hostel and ran into our first set of men who smiled big and said “Happy Holi!” I was moved as the colorful bearded man ran a gentle finger in between my eyes and on the sides of each of my cheeks. Smiling, his eyes shown with kindness and his soft touch calmed me right out of the literal gate.

 

And we would find that almost all of our interactions went this way. Gentle, kind, wishing us well. The aggressive nature we were warned about wasn’t present and in between about 30 selfies (because this is the ONLY place I will ever be a celebrity) and the rush of children throwing color at my face, I felt an overwhelming sense that we were right where we were supposed to be.

 

I was right where I was supposed to be.

 

What would Jesus have done in that space? If Jesus had had the opportunity to take part in Holi, how would he have interacted with those around him? What would his hands have looked like? What would his expressions be?

 

My ever present prayer that Jesus would give me his hands and his heart felt a little more real that day as my purple stained hands touched the faces of little children, older women and men and people my own age. They said “Happy Holi,” I said “God bless you.”

 

As I stared into their faces and smiled, touching their cheeks with lightness and love, lingering a little to see them in a different way, I could feel the Lord speaking to me. He was giving me his eyes to see. Each person, each soul, each set of eyes is someone he created, someone he loves, someone worth being pursued, reached, blessed. And as the day drew on and we visited party after party, my mission became clear.

 

“Love them, bless them in my name, pray for them.”

 

When I think about it now, I’m overwhelmed. It may sound simple, what we did. It probably does, but I encourage you to think about it in a different way. Our goal on the race is to interact with people, touch people, show Jesus to people. This isn’t necessarily an easy task in any country we are visiting. We have opportunities because the Lord is good and he brings us people but that opportunity usually looks like maybe 2 or 3 people a day and certainly not more than 10 a week. And as far as making that meeting emotional, there isn’t usually a ton of room for a hug, a touch of the hand, or prolonged eye contact.

 

So the fact that the Lord would plop us down in India during Holi where we would have the opportunity to physically touch hundreds of people, staring into their eyes and blessing them in the name of Jesus, is nothing short of miraculous. It’s beautiful. It’s tender. It’s lovely. It’s Him.

 

I believe that the presence of God got spread all over the city that day and that our interactions with the people left places for the Holy Spirit to churn in ways we will never see.

Our Holi celebration would lead us to a hostel that another team in our squad was staying at. As we walked through the door, and I got to hug each of my brothers and sisters smeared in color, I overwhelmingly felt, “Who would have thought, that Jesus would send us here on this day, in this country, with this group so that we could come and make Holi….well…..Holy.”