You’ve Got As Much of God As You Want

I was listening to a podcast yesterday on the curvy streets of Albania trying to hold my cookies. An actual crazy man in the driver seat next to me is yelling out things in Albanian I don’t understand while he takes on and off a wig, throws random fruit in my lap, turns up and down very loud Albanian techno and punches my shoulder as if to acknowledge a joke I should understand.

 

A typical travel day….

 

Anyway, in the podcast there was this story of these people knocking on the door of some guy that was known for being filled with the Holy Spirit and the guy opens the door and they ask, “How do we get as close to God as you are?” and he says, “You’ve got as much of Him as you desire,” and proceeds to shut the door.

 

You can see where the pastor was going with this. God is not withholding. He’s not saying that His attention is for the best and brightest. He has invited us all to live in the Kingdom of Heaven with Him and that is available to us right now. With it comes sanctification and suffering alongside abundant life and treasures for eternity.

 

But how much do we want it?

 

How much do I want it?

 

About a month ago, we traveled into Albania and spent the first two weeks in a place called Kruje where we had our first debrief and some training. Our mentor and coaches fly in from the states and it’s a very pivotal point for the squad because they’ve been on the field for a month and it’s a long enough time to start stirring all the intricacies of their hearts. We spend a good bit of time in the word, in prayer, in worship and in processing what the time has looked like in their teams and relationships out here. We train and equip on fundamental principles of the faith, spiritual warfare, evangelism and identity. Our aim is to help them see that they are valuable members of the Kingdom of Heaven, co-heirs to the throne, co-laborers with Jesus and they have the ability to walk in true freedom and peace if they want it. It’s one of my favorite things to introduce people to this and watch them blossom as they grow in their faith realizing, wow, this stuff is actually true!

 

It literally never gets old for me.

 

As we wrapped up our time in training and debrief, I realized that some of our participants were carrying some pretty big emotional baggage and I questioned my ability and my interest in focusing on that. I’m not cold hearted, I want freedom for people struggling, but my perspective is that you come on the World Race, Expedition, for the Great Commission, period. We are the wild ones, the rugged ones, the unoffendable ones, the ones ready to face it all…..

 

My co-lead would gently tell me, “If that were the qualification for the race, I would have never made it….” And here she is leading now. Would I want to count her out?

 

I was convicted. Sometimes I forget that we go on missions to transform other people’s lives but oftentimes, God wants us to go on mission so He can transform our lives.

 

It’s actually not my choice which God chooses to do and when in His people.

 

Conviction is a sweet thing because it always brings us to humility and we need a daily dose if you ask me! I found myself again at the feet of Jesus asking how I could serve Him.

 

And like usual, He reminded me that serving Him is about laying down my preferences.

 

Am I willing to sideline my own desires for the mission I want to accomplish in His name? Am I willing to listen to him and grow in patience and grace and mercy even when it feels like wasting time to my flesh? Am I open to the reality that this year might even be more about transformation of His people rather than transformation through His people?

 

 

It’s sweet how he wants you on your knees first before he blesses the heaven outta ya. I needed to be willing to listen without always understanding first, but he was ready to show me the things I might have been afraid I’d have to wait for in the spirit of understanding the value of internal ministry.

I left Kruje with a team called the “Early Birds.” Felt kind of fitting for me as I love birds and timeliness. The leader is my good friend Aaron and the team is a group of really amazing people. We have a homesteader, an ex corporate like me, a nurse, an OT and Aaron who I’ll call a worship leading, coffee making, Summer camp executive, just for fun.

 

We’d take what we learned and have the opportunity to apply it for two weeks before heading to a host location. We’d be practicing ATL (Ask the Lord) so as a quick reminder that is ministry that happens through nothing other than the Holy Spirit. We pray and are led. Period.

 

I felt ready, and expectant. I guess that’s what submission gives you though, right? I wasn’t worried about my ability to lead the team in whatever way God needed them to be led. I wasn’t stressed about whether or not I was the right person for the job. I felt a peace descend that I was with the team I was supposed to be with and God had something special for us.

 

As we prayed, we were lead to a city called Kukes first. Our hope was to use it as a base for getting into the villages on the outskirts. We wanted to be with people who had never heard of Jesus before and live alongside them. Our first day felt like a total gift. We left one of the villages with a family that offered their home for us to stay, a translator and a cook! We just knew that was where God was calling us.

 

 

Later that night, the family told us we couldn’t come. There were no other prospects for that village. Feeling defeated, we knew that God must have something better for us. We prayed and felt like maybe we should end up in another village. Through a series of searches, we found another single option – truly the only one that really worked for our budget. It was a little guesthouse more than open in the off-season in another small village. We would have the opportunity to live with the family that owns it, eat in their kitchen and get to live local farm life!

 

It feels like I breezed through this but it truly is amazing when you face disappointment and are still stubborn that God will provide and then get to see Him do it so quickly. The team was steadfast and I was so encouraged by them.

 

We ended up in Arras with high hopes for our time there. Our goals were relationships with the family we lived with, relationships with people our age, conversations about our faith, distribution of bibles and to live alongside people loving them and serving them. We just wanted to reflect Jesus and do it humbly and with open hands. God delivered on all that and more. I watched as this team shared their faith, spent selfless time serving, planned events, shivered in the cold and pressed on every day ready to see what God had for us.

 

Our hands were open and we wanted more and we saw God work.

 

We have as much of God as we want, but do we want more, even if it means taking on things we don’t feel we are equipped for or aren’t interested in or don’t value as much?

 

Do we want more even if it puts us on blast, reveals our weaknesses and selfish desires and rubs up against our preferences?

 

Do we want more even when it takes more time and resources and feels wasteful and inefficient?

 

Do we want more?

 

I needed to submit to God’s plans above my own personal preferences on the mission. I needed to trust that God had control and that His story for His people was always on His mind more than mine anyway. And I needed to be reminded that my Father knows the desires of my heart and wants to bless me with them, especially when they align with the desires of His.

 

I’ve got as much of Him as I want today, yes, but I’m working towards wanting more tomorrow.